How To Stop Procrastinating Step 2: Change Your Emotions
As I said in this recent post, when you’re procrastinating on something that’s important enough, if you think about the repercussions of not doing it, that will push you into action.
However, sometimes we have a mental block and still don’t do the thing we need to be doing.
To illustrate, let’s use cleaning your house. You know when you’ve got guests coming over and you want to make your place spotless for them? It’s a pretty universal example.
Rather than get your vacuum out and get moving, you watch TV, paint your nails if you’re a girl, or play video games if you’re a guy, and so on.
So at this point you need to ask yourself:
What feeling is making me stall? And what thoughts am I having that are making me feel that way?
Take 2 minutes right now and write down your answer.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, your answer will be some version of this:
“I’m not starting the task yet because I feel like I’ll go through pain if I do it now. I feel like that because I’m thinking about the drudgery of the task. And if I delay… maybe there will be some magical time in the future when I won’t go through that.”
And of course you know (since you’ve been reading this blog) that this is ridiculous. In the long run, doing the task will make you happy, and putting it off will make you depressed.
Remember what I said about laziness being a short circuit in your brain?
The answer then is to change your short-term wrong emotion (pain avoidance) to match your long-term correct emotion (satisfaction of working toward your goal).
Here is the five-part formula for doing this:
1. Identify and quarantine your Procrastination Tools.
There are two kinds of Procrastination Tools (as I call them):
1. Silly activities like watching TV or playing computer games.
2. Useful activities that are less important.
If the Procrastination Tool you use is a silly activity, then set aside a specific time to do that thing. Plan it, and give yourself a limit. For example, say: “At noon, I will surf the Internet for only 20 minutes.”
This also reconfigures your mind to link task completion with getting a reward at the end of it.
If you procrastinate by doing a useful activity that is less important, then triage it. Put it lower on your priority list.
I’m a huge believer in to-do lists, but the items on your list must be ordered based on how soon you need to get to them.
If you’re having guests to your house and need to prepare for it, you don’t want to feel rushed. So other things, like paying your bills that aren’t due for another three weeks, can wait.
2. Vividly imagine the pain you’ll have if you don’t complete the task.
If your house isn’t ready for the guests, you’ll feel embarrassed because you asked them to come to your place for a special occasion, and if your house is a complete wreck, then it makes it seem like you didn’t want them to come over and don’t care about them.
Feel this pain right now.
3. Now visualize the task as if you’ve already finished it.
When you’ve got a house that’s clean for your guests, you feel happy, because it shows the people that you care about them enough to give them a great experience at your house. Allow yourself to feel that way right now, before you’ve even begun.
4. Change the way you talk to yourself.
Tony Robbins and a lot of other self-help gurus talk about this, because it works like magic.
Change the current things you say to yourself — such as “I wish I had the energy to get started cleaning my house” and “I wish I wasn’t procrastinating on getting it ready for the guests” to this…
“What kinds of things do I ENJOY about cleaning the house?” and “How can I get this done?”
You see how these new thoughts will change the way you feel about the task?
Finally…
5. Take the next small action.
In Getting Things Done, David Allen says the simple solution is to always ask the question, What’s the next physical action I need to take? So, rather than have “get tires changed” on your to-do list, you should have “get out the phone book and look up tire shops.”
You see how focusing on the next action is way easier than focusing on the overall task?
Rather than have “clean my house to get it ready for guests,” you should have “pick up trash on the living room floor.”
The first is a vague goal that sounds overwhelming. The second is clear and easily doable. Get that small thing done, and now you’ve got momentum and have accomplished something tangible. Your feelings have changed for the better, and you’re no longer procrastinating.
Comment by Jon Blake
Before using guilt or fear to remedy laziness, I highly recommend The Now Habit by Dr. Neil Fiore. Life changing.
Posted on October 6, 2006 at 12:08 pm
Comment by Mark
Awesome Blog. Keep the info coming
Posted on October 8, 2006 at 4:12 pm
Comment by john
Jon,
Thanks for the suggestion. I got The Now Habit from Amazon because of your suggestion, and it’s awesome.
John
Posted on October 21, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Comment by me
this site is awesome. i got lazy reading it halfway and almost gave up, but i did finish reading everything (kinda rush it through tho). Being lazy is hard
((
Posted on October 24, 2006 at 1:01 pm
Comment by Mark
Hi don’t how I came across this blog but in a way glad I did, would you say that self-sabotage is a form of procastination along the same lines,what you say is right there is a underlying reason why we don’t do things bit of a labeling system we have in our minds ie that’s boring or that will never work, in hindsight if you take away the feeling that goes with procrastination it can’t exist on it’s own if that makes sense, all negative emotions have labels only thing is they all make us feel the same way. Take or change that feeling problem gone.Btw thanks for the book recommendation might give it a go.
Posted on October 27, 2006 at 8:42 am
Comment by someone...
I agree with “me”.Being Lazy IS hard. It’s taken alot just to get through this but these posts ARE helping me.
Hope to see some more good info in the future.
Posted on March 12, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Comment by lazy person
about where you said that you need to imagine the pain, what if you are too lazy to want to imagine the pain!
Posted on April 2, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Comment by Prabha
I’m starting to get sad thinking the author of this blog hasn’t written in a while
ARE YOU WORKING ON YOUR BOOK??? 
(I hope soo!)
Posted on May 22, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Comment by myotuumwjk
Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! hylqkzrpppmczl
Posted on June 21, 2007 at 5:34 am
Comment by alyn
ur blog was rock!!
i’m da lazy gal too^^
Posted on September 28, 2007 at 11:30 pm
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Comment by will
what happens when when you give up : lazyness. I say this to myself but i cant find the energy to change.
Posted on October 24, 2007 at 11:00 am
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Comment by Reema
Awesome suggestions, I am PhD student finishing up my report and recently have gotten very lazy, have no focus and unable to write even a sentence per day. This article is certainly motivating and helpful. Thanks:)
Posted on December 5, 2007 at 12:18 am
Comment by Tom
I realize a lot of writers may suffer from writer’s block at least in some stage of their lives but to me (and I do admit I’m no authority on the matter) it seems as though if a person suffers from this constantly then it seems as though it could perhaps be more a symptom of a “perfectionist” character rather than a result of being a “good writer”.
Personally I absolutely hate writing (though I wish I was good at it) & have always tried to avoid essay subjects because of the awesome pain & anxiety I go through when trying to write even the first sentence of the introduction for an essay. I’ll tear up even the draft hundreds of times mainly because of my annoying obsession of trying to write perfect literature right from the start (hardly a possibility for someone that doesn’t even like writing in the first place).
I’ve read a lot about people who also suffer a perfectionist character traits & a common mislabeling (even by themselves unknowingly) tends to be either lazy or procrastinator or both.
Though people that know me have been flummoxed (including myself) with some of the work I’ve produced as being of a painstakingly meticulous high quality. Sometimes I wonder if I suffer from a little OCD but this is more a wish than fact (considering some of the achievements of OCD suffers on the planet).
I even find writing emails at work a laborious task & colleagues often look at me astonished as to how I can spend a good couple of hours (& sometimes days) typing an email.
I also tend to take grammar & spelling a little more seriously than anyone I know (though mainly the latter) & find I have to reread my typing several times before I’m satisfied to click on send.
So could it be also that you perhaps suffer (at least to some extent) the same trait as me of being a perfectionist?
If not then, just wanting to add my thoughts on this after reading this interesting article.
Posted on January 4, 2008 at 3:43 am
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Comment by Joe
thank you john. reading this gives me confidence in myself and my ability. sometimes your mind can get the better of you.
Posted on April 6, 2008 at 4:04 am
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Comment by Gruia
Kind sir, thank you for this blog. I so need a change in my life, for too long I’ve been lazy, leaving stuff to do “for another time”, and generally under-productive. Sometimes, at work, I am able to do my job at a 100% rate, which gives me an edge over all my other colleagues. It is then that I see that when at my full potential, I am better than anyone, and I know it can be so in many other areas of life. I fail to realize my potential because of laziness. Your blog made me figure out some things that I could not have realized myself. I understand now that it is not weak to ask for help when needed. I really hope that applying what I’ve learned on your website will make my peers and siblings, my significant other, my boss, and especially me, a lot happier.
Respects, Gruia !
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